Giving up.

No, I am not giving up on life and this is not a post about how terrible I think my life is; I have just lately been wondering what I would be willing to give up in order to serve God more completely.
Yesterday in chapel, we were presented with an opportunity, but almost more of a challenge to donate our favorite item of clothing to a clothing drive here at school.  I began thinking, seriously, if I would be willing to give up my favorite thing to someone less fortunate.  The reason they stated, was because we often donate our cast-offs, things that are out of style, don't fit, or have gotten worn, but this time they want us to give something we love, so that someone else can feel pretty and confident in the item of clothing they recieve.
So, I sat there thinking, would I be willing to give up my favorite piece of clothing? Should I really even be considering it? Shouldn't I just be willing to give up anything? After all, scripture says in Matthew 25:40  “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’"  I guess the question then becomes, am I willing to give up a sweater for my King?
For me, it was a sobering thought. 
As I continued to think about this, I thought about the difference between giving up something tangible like clothes, and giving up something different like time or commitment. 
So say I was, in fact, willing to give up my sweater, but am I willing to give up my time to read my Bible, or help someone, or volunteer at church, or do I simply say, "I'm not going to get up early and read my Bible; I'll do it when I have time." or "I'm really busy, I can't talk about this now, can it wait til later?" For myself I fear that the question I pose, would I be willing to give up my favorite sweater for someone who needs it? then turns into, would I be willing to give up a little extra time or commitment for someone who needs it? or furthermore, for my Savior?  Unfortunately for me and probably many others, that answer many times is a staunch 'no.'
While all these thoughts were still floating around in my mind, I was reading my Old Testament book and came across a section talking about when Jonah became so angry about the plant that provided him shade being eaten by a worm. "Jonah became angry to the point of death over a mere plant, but didn't care at all for the thousands of people in Nineveh." Going back to the clothing drive, do we have more concern for the clothes hanging in our closet, or the things parked in our driveway, or sitting under our tree than for the people of Bolivar, St. Louis, Arnold, or worse yet, than for Jesus Christ himself?

Maybe I should have thought of a different blog title...

I guess the title of this blog is somewhat false.  This and future posts will have something to do with me and my life, I guess that's the sole purpose of a blog in the first place right?  Who am I asking, you ask? I really don't know, but another point of a blog is to be cool and savvy, so I must ask rhetorical questions in addition to my wise and humorous anecdotes.  But, (another thing I hear you can do in blogs is throw out all grammar rules ie: beginning a sentence with "but") in all seriousness, I do want this to be a place to reflect my growth and my focus on Jesus Christ.  My Savior. I feel as though even in the first few months of my college experience I've learned so much about myself, God and our relationship, that if I fail to write or blog about it I may forget it all together.  Insert statistic about how you only remember .23% of stuff you don't write down, here.
I don't know what else to write about in my first post other than how I feel about posting my first post. I want to be reflective of all Christ has done for me, so I guess that is why I ultimately chose this title.  My life as a Christ follower in actuality shouldn't be about, well, me.  So, while I choose to reflect upon my life and circumstances, I mostly want to reflect on how Christ is the most important element in all of those circumstances.
I can't wait to see what God has in store for me the rest of this semester, and really the rest of my life.  I know that his work can only go as far as my obedience.  This week I took my first step towards that initial obedience and I went to an assisted living facility here in Bolivar to play Bingo with the residents.  I had felt God nudging me there for quite some time and I finally worked up the courage to go last night.  All the typical fears one has of nursing homes quickly invaded my mind, "What do I say? What do I do? Will they want to talk to me? Will it smell weird?"  (The answer to the last two questions is a resounding yes.)  And as I walked through the front doors, I knew I was nervous, but I knew I was being obedient, and guess what?  I wasn't all that scary.  It was actually great.
God was and still is showing me that in order to be used by Him, sometimes we need to be uncomfortable.  Do you remember the part in the Bible where Jesus says, "Come follow me and you will have the easiest and most comfortable life ever?" You don't? That's because it sounded more like, "When you come follow me you will have nowhere to lay your head."  I don't know about you, but that's not my idea of comfort. But really this life is not about me, or my comfort, it's about His glory.
God also showed me that the people in assisted living and I have a lot in common.  College is our step in between childhood and the real world.  What is college dorm life if not assisted living? We don't generally cook, or pay bills, or do dishes. We have people constantly looking out for us and trying to help us.  We have to move to a new place filled with people we don't know and change our routine to something different than what we've been doing since before we can remember.
All in all, I obviously don't know everything, but I know God has many things He's going to teach me through my time at Butterfield Assisted Living and my time everywhere else, so tune in next time for more.