Week one on my brand new job working for
the Leadership Development Team at the Missouri Baptist Convention in Jeff
City.
Things I’ve done so far:
- Moved into a new house, with an awesome married couple and a friend my age: Bri
- Drove to Nashville, TN to attend a conference on collegiate ministry
- Explored Nashville solo!
- Finalized some things with my church in Bolivar and started going to a new church in Jeff city on the same day
- Explored downtown Jeff
- Had meals with my new family (The Kearn-Suitt-Todd fam)
- Let Jillian Michaels kick Bri and I's butt with a 20 minute shred (it hurts to move)
"When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.”
That quote from Lao Tzu is one I’ve carried
with me since I read it in an English textbook in high school. It spoke to my
heart, and my desire to be accepted and loved in High School, and still lands
on me in my journey to adulthood.
I think that the transition from college to the working world is a strange one. Your life sends you on a whirlwind from young-adulthood
adventurous freedom to scheduled routine. Suddenly you’re stripped from the
free time to do all the things you thought defined you. The overwhelming
majority of your time during the week consists of learning a new skill set and
developing further your ability to perform your work duties well. You try and
connect with people 5-30 years your senior. All the while, finding your
vernacular changing as well as your social schedule and bedtime.
I often walk around scared that someone will
notice that I’m just faking it. Maybe they’ll notice I am a recent graduate and
be able to smell my naiveté. But the more I open up, the more I start to
realize, that yes they notice, but more importantly: nobody really has it “figured
out.”
So much has gotten jumbled in my brain, but at
some point something switches and I started to adjust. As childhood skips
further and further away, I find myself missing it more, but desiring it less and less. I covet the simplicity of my youth, but pine for increased depth in
my knowledge and friendships more, even though complication accompanies that depth. The older I get, the more complicated life gets, simply
because we’ve all experienced more of it. I understand that we are all living
this thing the best way we know how. While we still reside in a fallen world: we must work to provide for ourselves. If I didn’t have to work, I know I would not
push myself to accomplish anything, and I would be unhappy with who I was. With these realizations I can be thankful for my situation, and God
can redeem my work life.
I haven’t started too much here in Jefferson
City yet, but just as with anything in life: something is always going to change and
fluctuate. Ultimately it’s up to us to figure out how to adapt and change with
it. Through this transition, I’m learning to be transparent about my struggle through adulthood, and
be open concerning how much about the world I still have not grasped and do not understand.
I keep making my weird jokes, even when no one laughs, because eventually
one will land. Then it reminds me that God didn’t create me to please others; but He created me because He loved me and He wanted to portray his love and glorify himself through me.
So even though things don’t always work out as
planned, I still have to trust that He goes before me, He knows everything, and He is sovereign. Nothing that I do, mess up, accomplish or conquer did He not
already know or have ready for me. He saw it all and He’s weaving together my
story. I just have to try and make the most of it; by being who He created me to be: myself.
Jeff City Goals:
- To build community among my new peers
- To learn Spanish
- To take an active role in a new church
- To spend time mentoring a younger girl
At our conference in Nashville, Kyle Idleman spoke and reminded us to delight in our weaknesses like the Bible teaches. We don't have to make ourselves weak: we already are; we just have to come to God humbly and empty. (2 Cor. 12) We start to think that if we produce more fruit we will have a better connection with Jesus. But it's actually the opposite. If we can just remember that it's our job to be the branch, and not the vine. Then we will be okay. (John 15)
I’ve been in the full-time working world for
almost a year now, and have recently moved to a new job in a new city, and Kyle's words were extremely timely. 40 hours a week in an office sometimes seems like it drains out all my personality, but then I remember that my calling is to be that branch. When I pursue God's purpose for my life, by sharing the gospel, making disciples, and living in community I find I'm the most "myself." Because all the facets of my personality are His creation, and He uses His creation to glorify the Creator, I can't help but to be truly myself while serving Him. Ultimately, the more I seek to be that branch, the more I remember who I am in purpose and in personality. I just need to be that branch. The vine will sustain me and fill me up. Thank you Jesus.
Check back to hear about how my trek through adulthood continues in Jefferson City, as well as what God is doing and
teaching me, and my friends. Hopefully we can learn on the journey together.
