The Great Equalizer

“Everything you need is to be found in me,” and also in this article listing the top 10 things you need to do before you get married.

It’s no secret we are inundated with articles about relationships and marriage. Conversations about singleness, marriage and contentment seep into every facet of my life.

I believe God actually meant what he told Hosea (sans the relevant article reference) in Hosea 14:8.

College and young adult Christian circles, divide us into this false dichotomy: those who have someone and those who don’t. The married and the single. I don’t know of any other community in the western world that puts so much emphasis on this particular event other than the families on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

I love marriage. I think it’s great, awesome, beautiful, and am so happy for my friends who have entered into that stage of life. On the other hand, I do not think that I am missing out just yet. I am where I am meant to be. This is what God has planned for me and it gives me joy to remember that. 

While yes, I find myself eating leftovers for weeks, because making dinner for one is nearly impossible without having something like the 12 baskets of fish and bread leftover at the end; and I can’t finish a half gallon of milk before it goes bad; I have other stuff. I don’t have a lifelong companion waiting for me when I get home, but I have friends who want to play monopoly with me 4 nights in a row, who want to talk about the deep recesses of our hearts, while we longboard into the moonlit night, and the ability to take off to see a band I want to hear and spend the day in a different city. 

Married people and single people live different lives in terms of activities, freedoms and interactions, but I don’t think it’s good to view one group as more esteemed than another. 

Scripture praises both the institution of marriage: Proverbs 18:22, (He who finds a wife finds a good thing), and the simplicity of single life and it’s freedom to advance the Gospel without worldly concern (1 Cor. 7:8;32-38). 

We aren’t the haves and the have nots. I have some things married people don’t; and vice versa, but these lives we lead are about so much more than marriage. 

Though many times single people (and they are all I can speak for) feel left out and like they don’t belong in the church or certain circles, there are some major things married and single people have in common. 

I will argue that the most important is that we are both called to make disciples. 

How I long for the emphasis of our lives to be put on this: for people to repost articles encouraging us to love when it hurts and labor for the people the world doesn’t see as important or beautiful.

The world is split into a dichotomy. 

We must see people in only two groups: the lost and the found. 

The Lord offers us Salvation, and only some people have accepted it and given their life over to Christ; the rest have not. 

The haves and the have nots do exist. And I want to see the scale tip over. I want to see people come to know the Lord in large numbers. 

This is the great equalizer: we are all on mission together as followers of Christ. I know my singleness works to my advantage for the sake of the Gospel in my current community. I also know that some married people are working together as a team for the kingdom. I haven’t found anyone with whom I would like to partner up for this cause yet; and I certainly don't have this all figured out, but I cannot bide my time until I find that person.

I must be at work in the fields "for the harvest is plentiful, and the laborers are few." 

If you find yourself wanting a spouse so much that it is depressing, or distracting you from your purpose or ultimately from the Gospel, I encourage you to seek out relationships in which you can minister to people who do not know Jesus Christ. In this you might just lose sight of yourself while putting your focus on the Savior. If you do not know who you can share with, I urge you to pray for God to put people in your life with whom you can share the Gospel. See what happens.

If you don’t know what the Gospel is I hope you ask me to longboard into the night or share some of my ridiculous amount of leftovers with you so I can share with you that everything you need is to be found in Christ.